I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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