My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
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