HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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