Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
