That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
