So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
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