i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I stole a fireplace last night.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
