the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I am midnight drunk by noon
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
