was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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