ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
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