Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
