is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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