The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
You don't have asthma, your pregnant
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
