All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
