dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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