I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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