he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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