google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
