A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize