If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
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