sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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