i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Randomize
