Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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