you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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