Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize