I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
