Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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