ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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