theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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