toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize