My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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