dude i'm inner monologue high
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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