Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
My liver just had a heart attack.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
