Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
