dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
4 words: hood of his car
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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