I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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