I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
