My entire life is one complicated drinking game
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
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I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
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Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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