i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
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