i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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