just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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