My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Randomize
