i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
