how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
