is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
