this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
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