i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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