Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
