She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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