I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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