I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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