dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I DEMAND FORESKIN
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
