Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize