Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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