dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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