It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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