i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
