You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
