she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
