She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
