shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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