That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
