I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize