Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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