I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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