Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
