My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize