her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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