remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
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