4 words: hood of his car
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
